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June 25th, 2018

6/25/2018

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Dear Sugarbean,

Wow. Today was A Day.  You are profoundly 3 years old.  It is simultaneously an utter delight and a train wreck.  There is no middle ground for you these days.  Luckily, the tantrums are usually easy to predict (tired, hungry, and have been on your best behavior for days and just can't take it any more) and they don't happen every day.  Today we pushed too far though and both paid the price in Target.​
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I probably shouldn't post these pictures, but... I'm thinking that you seeing these in the future can't possibly be any more embarrassing than it was today as I stood in the bathroom aisle patiently (at least outwardly) waiting while you kicked and screamed for nearly TWENTY WHOLE MINUTES.  That sounds like I'm keeping score, but I'm not.  I felt genuinely bad for you.  We've had company here, upsetting our routine, for weeks and you just rolled with it.  You fell down this morning HARD and scraped both your hands, knees, and elbow.  There's a new baby on the horizon and you don't know why, but you are STRESSED.   I get it.  I would have loved to scoop you up and hold you tight, but you were not interested.

We both thought you were finally calmed down after that and tried to move on with life, but we were wrong and soon you were at it again.  This time, I decided to cut our loses and leave, which involved you kicking and screaming your way to the front of the store, through the checkout line, and across the parking lot.*  Total strangers were mercifully kind to me and offered sympathy and encouragement.  THANK YOU, KIND STRANGERS.  THANK YOU. 

​We spent another 20 or so minutes burning out the fire in the parking lot. ​
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Then, while sitting on the curb in the 90 degree heat, you crawled into my lap and asked me to sing.  We both needed the love at that point.  

Here's the thing.  When we finally made it home and I burst into tears at lunch, you said, "Do you need Apice, Mama?  Apice knows your sorrows."  You are so kind and I love you so much.  

And because I'm emotionally spent and 6 months pregnant in the height of summer, I fed you leftover chocolate chip pancakes (which you insisted on dipping ketchup), mac and cheese, and Lays potato chips for dinner.  We both survived the day though, so I'm calling it a win. 

​*Why not just abandon the cart and run, mama?  Because at this point leaving without my stuff would have meant suffering for nothing!
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