Dear Alice,

Just a short followup to our Target Meltdown post from earlier this summer.  Without totally jinxing myself, I think it's only fair to admit that we've since learned of some extenuating circumstances.

Sometime this spring your doctor recommended starting you on Flonase nasal spray to help with your allergies and constant skin rashes.  We did it for about two and a half months before something finally clicked in my brain and I started to suspect just what was going on. 

During that time, you STOPPED eating.  This by itself was HUGE.  You are the world's best eater.  You LOVE food.  We've worked so hard at cultivating good eating habits and then one day, BOOM, it was all gone.  I couldn't believe what was happening.  I tried everything I could think of to get us back on track, to no avail.  And the worst part was that everyone I talked to about it kept telling me that it was typical of a 3 year old. 

Meanwhile some other weird stuff was going on, but again...maybe you are just 3?  Lots of tantrums (for you), and it was taking HOURS for you to fall asleep at night.  Then the nights started to get even worse.  We would go to bed and you'd constantly kick your legs.  I Googled "can toddlers have restless leg syndrome?" and went down a rabbit hole of WEIRD. 

The short of this story is that I discovered Flonase is a steroid with lots of officially undocumented side effects, such as restless leg, behavioral changes in children, and....a sort of soapy sour taste in your mouth!  WHA....???!!!!! 

Within days of quitting, everything started to go back to normal, including your awesome eating habits.  And (knock on wood) you haven't had another tantrum since.  The only drawback is I haven't figured out a better treatment for your allergies, so for now, you suffer.  :(

Dear Sugarbean,

Wow. Today was A Day.  You are profoundly 3 years old.  It is simultaneously an utter delight and a train wreck.  There is no middle ground for you these days.  Luckily, the tantrums are usually easy to predict (tired, hungry, and have been on your best behavior for days and just can't take it any more) and they don't happen every day.  Today we pushed too far though and both paid the price in Target.​

I probably shouldn't post these pictures, but... I'm thinking that you seeing these in the future can't possibly be any more embarrassing than it was today as I stood in the bathroom aisle patiently (at least outwardly) waiting while you kicked and screamed for nearly TWENTY WHOLE MINUTES.  That sounds like I'm keeping score, but I'm not.  I felt genuinely bad for you.  We've had company here, upsetting our routine, for weeks and you just rolled with it.  You fell down this morning HARD and scraped both your hands, knees, and elbow.  There's a new baby on the horizon and you don't know why, but you are STRESSED.   I get it.  I would have loved to scoop you up and hold you tight, but you were not interested.

We both thought you were finally calmed down after that and tried to move on with life, but we were wrong and soon you were at it again.  This time, I decided to cut our loses and leave, which involved you kicking and screaming your way to the front of the store, through the checkout line, and across the parking lot.*  Total strangers were mercifully kind to me and offered sympathy and encouragement.  THANK YOU, KIND STRANGERS.  THANK YOU. 

​We spent another 20 or so minutes burning out the fire in the parking lot. ​

Then, while sitting on the curb in the 90 degree heat, you crawled into my lap and asked me to sing.  We both needed the love at that point.  

Here's the thing.  When we finally made it home and I burst into tears at lunch, you said, "Do you need Apice, Mama?  Apice knows your sorrows."  You are so kind and I love you so much.  

And because I'm emotionally spent and 6 months pregnant in the height of summer, I fed you leftover chocolate chip pancakes (which you insisted on dipping ketchup), mac and cheese, and Lays potato chips for dinner.  We both survived the day though, so I'm calling it a win. 

​*Why not just abandon the cart and run, mama?  Because at this point leaving without my stuff would have meant suffering for nothing!

You made it through the whole post!  Thank you for reading, and thank you for helping. 

Alice!!!  This year was SOOOOOO fast.  And huge.  Right after your 1st birthday, we packed up and moved from your birth town to what we hope will become your new hometown. I really wanted to minimize the impact of the move on you, so we packed up your room the day before we left with the intention of unpacking it pretty much immediately upon arrival.  That's not how it worked out though, and we pretty much didn't get to see most of your things again until nearly 6 months later in December!  I felt a little bad, but there was nothing to be done about it.  The good part was that you were super excited when we finally did get everything set up and you even recognized a bunch of the art that had been on your walls in Cheyenne!

It's been a big year of changes and transition for all of us.  We moved to Idaho!  We lived downstairs for 6 months, then we moved upstairs!  We stopped nursing in December (around 20 months).  Dada got laid off from STP and will be starting his own job this coming summer (wahoo!!!! and YIKES!!!!). 

Lots of people came to stay and visit.  I think you've found this a bit confusing, but you're always so happy to see everyone (and mama is devastated when they leave).  We spent the summer riding bikes around our new neighborhood, working on all of the huge house projects, and playing in the water at Quinn's Pond.  You even rode on the paddle board with mama!  You started taking swimming lessons with mama at the YMCA and baby French class at Mme. Veronica's house.  You LOVE to go swimming, and you LOVE French class. 

Your other biggest love right now is other kids!  You get SOOOOOO excited to see kids wherever we go, which is why it's really great that you'll be starting preschool in the fall.  It will be two more chances per week to hang out with kids ("There's some little tiny kids!!!!!).  You call lots of things "little tiny" regardless of their size. 

You are whip smart.  I mean, seriously.  You are probably smarter than mama and dada combined (and that's saying something because your dada is BRILLIANT).  It's likely only a matter of weeks before you are doing calculus just for fun.  I joke, but it is so astounding to watch you absorb literally everything you are taught.  Not a single day goes by that you don't manage to say something that completely amazes us.  You are extremely observant ("LOOK AT THAT!! MAMA NEW SHIRT!!!!), you are developing your own little sense of humor (pinecones = "tree poop"), you are trying out your own opinions ("NO LIKE THAT!"), and you are exercising your tiny will power to its fullest extent (and NOW mama finally understands what everyone was talking about when they said parenting is so hard).  

Now that you are turning into your own tiny person, mama is not allowed to just "nuggle" you whenever she wants ("OFF MAMA!!!).  This makes mama sad, BUT in return if I ask you for a hug, you come running, leap into my arms and hug me with your entire body.  I have to say, this is pretty great.  Doubtless that this will be one thing I'll carry with me forever long after you've adopted more independence and attitude. 

Every morning you come into the bathroom with mama and we brush our teeth together, do our hairs, and then look in the mirror so mama can ask you, "Who's so cute?!" 
And you respond, "ALICE SO CUTE!!!" 
"Who's so smart?"  "ALICE SO 'MART!!!"
"Who's so kind?"  "ALICE SO KIND!!!"
"Who's so smart and kind?"  "ALICE SO 'MART AND KIND!!!"

I can't wrap my brain around the fact that you've already traveled with us around the sun TWO WHOLE TIMES.  Surely, the Earth's orbit is speeding up on a daily basis.  I love you, Alice Safa Svilar Finley Newlin Kumquat Sweet Babu Sugar Bean AlicitaYou'reSoSweeta "mart" Girl. 

Love, Mama

P.S.  I made you this video.  <3

Ian and Jenna came to visit a few weekends ago and Jenna was nice enough to bring her camera (okay, I begged her).  We had a hard time getting the weather and the nap schedules to line up, but managed to sneak outside between breaks in the rain for a quick shoot.  Apice the Bunny decided to join us this time, and we got some great shots with our other friends from Salt Lake, Luke and Alan.  (Jenna got some GREAT family photos of them too, but I'll leave those for Brandon and Jamie to post if they want.)  I probably should have culled these more, but as usual, I just love them ALL. 

Photos by Jenna Westbrook Photography

Photos by Jenna Westbrook

Photos by the ever amazing Jenna Westbrook.  So great we had to post them all!

A quick trip out to visit Khalto Safa and family!  Can't wait to visit again soon!